I recently got a new tattoo, and this one is quite visible (don’t worry moms, it’s on my upper thigh, still not ruining my life and career), so I’ve gotten a few questions from my young cousins and nephews. I also have a few piercings, so let me tell you, kids aren’t shy about pulling and pointing.
How can we blame them! Permanent skin drawings? Metal going through the skin? Why get those? Here are a few things to keep in mind when speaking to children (let’s be real, adults too) about tattoos and piercings:
1. No pointing please.
Modified folk deserve respect, and pointing, tugging, touching without permission is considered very rude. It’s simply decoration. No one points at your aunt Lisa for wearing a bracelet, so why point out at aunt Gabby for wearing her nose ring?
2. Tattoos are forever.
Yes, they look cool on uncle Jerry, but don’t run out and get the silliest thing you saw in a magazine as soon as you turn 18. Tattoos are permanent, so think about the design you want for quite some time before pulling the tattoo trigger.When do you know you’re old enough? When you’ll spend the proper money to get it done in a proper shop, not a back alley. When you’ll take care of the healing and recovery of the modification. That’s called maturity, and some never get there.
People who choose to stretch their ears, or push metal through their skin chose to do so as a form of self-expression. Just like dressing a certain way, cutting your hair in a certain style, it’s a decision that only reflects aesthetic preferences. It doesn’t make them a bad parent, friend, partner,person (note to all employers), so they deserve to be treated with respect. I don’t judge others for choosing to not have tattoos, so the respect should be reciprocal.
Hopefully this helps next time you see a modified person on the street with your child/mentee.
Have an awesome day
Bonjour à tous!
J’ai un nouveau tatouage, et celui-ci est beaucoup plus visible que les autres (ne vous inquiétez pas, les mamans, c’est sur ma cuisse, il ne va pas ruiner ma vie et ma carrière), de sorte que j’ai obtenu quelques questions de mes jeune cousins et neveux. J’ai aussi quelques piercings, alors laissez-moi vous dire, les enfants ne sont pas gênés de toucher et tirer.
Comment pouvons-nous les blâmer! Dessins permanents sur la peau? Métal passant par la peau? Pourquoi obtenir ceux-là? Voici quelques éléments à garder à l’esprit quand on parle aux enfants de tatouages et piercings:
1. Pas de pointage s’il vous plaît.
Les gens modifiés méritent le respect, et en pointant, en tirant, touchant sans autorisation c’est considéré comme très impoli. C’est tout simplement la décoration. On ne pointe pas à votre tante Lisa pour porter un bracelet, alors pourquoi pointer à tante Gabby pour porter son anneau dans le nez?
2. Les tatouages sont permanents.
Oui, ils l’air cool sur oncle Jerry, mais il ne faut pas obtenir la chose la plus stupide que vous avez vu dans un magazine dès que vous aurez 18 ans. Les tatouages sont permanents, alors pensez à la conception que vous voulez pour un certain temps avant de vous decidez.Quand savez-vous que vous êtes assez vieux? Lorsque vous dépensez de l’argent pour le faire dans un bon studio, pas dans une ruelle. Lorsque vous prenez soin de la guérison et le rétablissement de la modification. C’est ce qu’on appelle la maturité, et certains n’y arrive jamais.
Les gens qui choisissent de se percer le visage ont choisi de le faire comme une forme d’expression de soi. Tout comme s’habiller d’une certaine façon, couper vos cheveux dans un certain style, c’est une décision qui ne reflète que les préférences esthétiques. Cela ne fait pas d’eux un mauvais parent, employeur, ami, partenaire, personne (note à tous les employeurs), alors ils méritent d’être traités avec respect. Je ne juge pas les autres pour le choix de ne pas avoir des tatouages, de sorte que le rapport devrait être réciproque.
Espérons que cela aide la prochaine fois que vous voyez une personne modifié de la rue avec votre enfant / mentoré.
Ayez un jour génial
Tired of watching Family channel all summer? Need something more intellectually stimulating for your young girl? Here are 5 important videos to watch as a female!
Plus capable d’endurer un autre épisode de Hannah Montana? Voici 5 vidéos inspirantes pour une jeune fille, qu’elle soit votre propre fille ou mentoré.
This video went viral last month, and there’s a good reason why. We teach girls through our hurtful words thats being a girl is weak, or inferior to being a boy. Girls grow up to believe they are meant to be beautiful, and that’s all they can be, not strong, or smart, or athletic. Watch this with your youngster and let the message bounce around her head:)
Ce vidéo est devenu tres populaire tres rapidement, et c’est pour une bonne raison. Nous apprenons aux jeunes filles par la malfaisance de nos mots qu’etre une fille, c’est mauvais, ou inférieur a un garçon. Regardez ce vidéo avec votre fille et laissez le message rebondir dans sa petite tete.
Ahhh, the unquestionable double standards. This video really strikes home for me, for whenever I have taken on a leadership role in my life, the men around me called me bossy, instead of organized, or a leader. Help your young friend realize the double standards of this world by watching this video, so that she can understand why it’s okay to be bossy sometimes.
Quand une fille prend une position de leadership, elle se fait appeler “boss des bécosses” ou énervante. Aidez votre fille a réaliser que des fois c’est correcte d’etre en charge.
I love this song! The song itself is good enough for me, but the message behind it brings it up a couple notches! For a mainstream artist to come out with such a simple yet powerful video is quite admirable. Blast this on your way to school or summer camp, and let the words skin in:)
J’adore cette chanson! La chanson elle meme est magnifique, mais le message derriere les paroles fait que cette toune est une des meilleurs de l’été. Pour qu’une artiste si populaire sorte un vidéo comme celui-ci, si simple and unique, c’est admirable. Chantez cette chanson dans l’auto en allant a l’école ou au camp, et laissez les mots pénétrez son esprit.
We all have things about our body’s we’d like to change, but the idea here is the focus on the positive. This video is beautifully made, features women of all shapes and sizes and colors and ages, so sit your little girl down and watch her learn about this different types of beauty.
Nous avons tous des parties de notre corps que nous voudrions changer, mais l’idée ici c’est de focuser sur les parties positives. Le vidéo est tres bien fait, et montre des femmes de tous ages, couleurs, formes, etc.
When I was in the 5th grade, I quit swimming lessons because I didn’t like the way my body looks in a bathing suit. And still to this day I loathe going to the beach for those same reasons. Girls need to understand that beauty is not all that you can be, and that insecurities should never stop you from reaching for the stars.
Quand j’étais en 5e année, j’ai arrêté mes leçons de natation parce que je n’aimais pas mon corps dans un maillot de bain. Et meme aujourd’hui je suis inconfortable d’aller a la plage. Les jeunes filles doivent apprendre que la beauté n’est pas la seule chose dans le monde, et que les insécurités ne devraient jamais nous arrêter de poursuivre nos rêves.
We underestimate them time and time again.
Because honestly, they might have life figured out better than we do.
Example of the day; kid Gabby, circa early 2000s.
I’ve always been a writer. Ever since I can remember I always carried a cute little diary with me and just wrote non-sensical but ever so fascinating stories. The hundred juice-stained and princess-sticker-covered notebooks in my closet speak for themselves; it’s what I always wanted to be.
Anyways, if you read back every single one of my stories, there is a noticeable pattern, a discernable reccurance in these compelling tales.
In each story, there’s a «favorite». A completely perfect character.
She is so easy to spot; she received my favorite names at the time, she looked exactly like what I wanted to look like, everything she said was perfectly calculated so that an unbiased reader would automatically love her, etc.
She was, in other words, my definition of perfect.
But guess what? There is also another pattern in my stories, and one that epitomizes the entire concept of this blog post; the character I designed to be utterly flawless, was also utterly BORING.
If she was the main character, my story fell flat. It died after a few pages.
If she was a supporting character, she just faded away, becoming meaningless and invisible, behind the flaws of the interesting characters.
I understood the key to life at age 10; go figure I didn’t know how to use it until I turned 18.
Life isn’t about being exactly right, or being the perfect person we imagine in our silly brains.
Flaws made my characters STAND OUT, and their struggles made them 3 DIMENSIONAL and UNIQUE. No wonder flawed characters have their own little novels; heck the really bad ones even get sequels!
And trust me, my plan as an aspiring author would have backfired. People don’t like reading about how utterly flawless one’s life is, they like to sympathize, laugh, cry, LIVE through people’s moments.
That’s what’s worth reading. That’s how life is worth living.
Have an amazing day:)
Oh, les enfants.
Nous les sous-estimons toujours.
Parce que franchement, ils comprennent parfois la vie mieux que nous.
Exemple de la journée; enfant Gabby, circa début des années 2000.
J’ai toujours été une écrivaine. Depuis l’age de 5 ans, j’ai toujours porté un petit journal mignon avec moi et écrivez des petites histoires. Les carnets tachés de jus colorées et de collants de princesse dans mon placard parlent d’eux-mêmes; c’est ce que j’ai toujours voulu être.
Quoi qu’il en soit, si vous lisiez de nouveau chacun de mes histoires, il y a un modèle notable, une récurrence discernable dans ces récits.
Dans chaque histoire, il y a un «favori». Un personnage totalement parfait.
Elle est si facile à repérer; elle a reçu mes noms préférés à l’époque, elle ressemblait exactement à ce que je voulais ressembler, tout ce qu’elle disait était parfaitement calculé de telle sorte qu’un lecteur impartial l’aimerait automatiquement, etc.
Elle était, en d’autres termes, ma définition de parfait.
Mais devinez quoi? Il y a aussi un autre motif dans mes histoires, et celui qui incarne tout le concept de ce blog; le caractère que j’ai conçu pour être tout à fait impeccable, était aussi parfaitement ennuyeux.
Si elle était le personnage principal, mon histoire tombait à plat. Il est mort au bout de quelques pages.
Si elle était un personnage de soutien, elle disparait, devenant inutile et invisible, derrière les défauts des personnages intéressants.
J’ai compris la clé de la vie à 10 ans; allez comprendre que je ne savais pas comment l’utiliser jusqu’à ce que j’ai eu 18 ans.
La vie n’est pas d’être tout à fait exact, ou être la personne idéale que nous imaginons dans nos cerveaux.
Les défauts de mes personnages, et leurs luttes font que ces personnes ont du caractere, sont intéressantes! Pas étonnant que les personnages imparfaits ont leurs propres petits romans; les vraiment mauvais peuvent même obtenir leurs propres séries!
Et croyez-moi, mon plan comme un auteur aurait eu l’effet inverse. Les gens n’aiment pas lire a propos des gens parfaits, ils aiment à sympathiser, rire, pleurer, vivre à travers les moments de gens imparfaits.
C’est ce qui est digne d’être lu. C’est ainsi que la vie vaut d’être vécue.
Ayez une journée incroyable 🙂
Hello all! This is an article I found on nedic.ca, written by Jackie Grandy, and crossposted onto this blog with permission from NEDIC. Enjoy!
Last week, I was surprised to come across two articles discussing whether Toronto schools will soon be weighing students, determining whether they are within a ‘healthy’ weight range – and sending the results to parents. When asked what they thought about this, the majority of parents surveyed in a Toronto Star poll reported that they would not allow their children to participate in BMI testing if it was brought to their school. Why? Could it be that parents understand that BMI is not a good measure of health and wellbeing? That measuring BMI in schools continues a flawed panic – using a flawed measuring tool – about size rather than health?
What the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) seems to be ignoring in its advocacy of weighing and measuring the height of schoolchildren is the risk it carries not just to increase body-based bullying from student’s teachers and peers, but the risk to children’s developing self-stigma and poor body image.
Body-based bullying continues to be the most common cause of bullying in youth. 29% of girls and 15% of boys are already teased about their weight at home. By grade seven, up to 30% of girls and 25% of boys are teased by other students. Poor body image has been found to stop youth from engaging in social, academic and physical opportunities. It limits willingness to express an opinion. In perpetuating focus on body shapes and sizes rather than on encouraging health providing attitudes and behaviours in children regardless of size, what are our schools (and public health) teaching?
Is it not time for a critical reflection on the value of an arguably insensitive and body-shaming tool? At best, weighing children in schools under this scheme is of limited value, skewed by methodology and undermines the relationship between children and their mentors. At worst, it encourages body-shaming and poor self-esteem in children. At the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC), we believe that it’s not our bodies that need changing. It’s our attitudes. Stay in touch. Help us continue the discussion on food and weight preoccupation here.
Jackie Grandy has been NEDIC’s Outreach & Education Coordinator since May of 2012. To learn more about how NEDIC reaches out and provides public education, or to book a NEDIC outreach visit in your area, contact her at email@example.com.
1. Name Acronym
Let’s take for example my name, Gabby. Upon meeting my little for the first time, I will use each letter of my name to tell the other person about me.
G: I love Garlic bread.
A: My favorite Animals are cats.
B: I enjoy Blogging and writing as a hobby.
B: I was Born here in Canada
Y: Yesterday, I went to a concert.
Very simple, very easy way to get to know the other. Plus it can give you ideas of activities. If you love animals, maybe a zoo trip could be fun!
2. Spice of Life sheet
Maybe you want to keep his answers with you, as a memory of your time together or to keep you inspired for future activities. If this is the case, this “Spice of Life” sheet is perfect.
It asks all the basic questions, such as name and birthplace, but it also goes into detail on favorite places, hobbies, colors, etc. Your little loves ribs? How about a barbecue activity, where you help your little (and maybe even yourself) to make his/her favorite dish!
Again, the purpose of this sheet is not only to get to know the other, but also to think of activites that both of you will enjoy.
3. The Race
For a more active child, I suggest the following activity. Write down on pieces of paper facts about yourself, and your little should do the same. Then go hide them around your perimeter, whether you’re in the park or at his house. The race begins! You must find all of the other person’s facts before the time is up. There will be false clues, such as blank pieces of paper, so watch out!
The goal here is to be running around, having a good time, and literally picking up information about the other person. At the end of the race, see who has collected the most papers, and read the out loud. A fun way for an energetic child to avoid boring introductions!
Until next time,
Homework is an academic institution, but should it be? There’s a growing trend of schools cutting down on homework or cutting it out altogether. What’s your take? Should kids have homework?
Here are some pro’s and con’s:
- Homework reinforces classroom instruction. Students need to practice what they learn on their own time, at their own pace.
- Homework teaches responsibility. The responsibilities of homework mirror the responsibilities adults face at work and at home every day.
- Homework prepares kids for higher grades. If students aren’t given homework in elementary school, they won’t be able to handle middle school, high school, or college.
- Homework is busy work. Many teachers take a one-size-fits-all approach, and their assignments are rarely appropriate for the student’s specific needs.
- Homework stresses the family. If over 90 percent of American children say their parents are involved with their homework, according to a study by the Indiana University and Purdue University schools of education, then that means 90% of families are also fighting about homework.
- Homework squeezes out play. Unstructured play aids imagination and social skills, which are just as important as good grades in the real world.
Let us know your thoughts, for this is an incredibly interesting debate!
Hello all! This is an article I wrote for Adios Barbie about a year ago. Since many of the blog’s readers are parents or mentors to children, I thought this would be an appropriate topic to post, considering that many of these Disney stars are idolized by today’s youth.
For the last decade, The Disney Channel has successfully launched the careers of the most popular teen superstars. But are these young Hollywood starlets getting thinner, and what message does that send young viewers?
I was perusing Tumblr when I found this picture of the three “generations” of Disney stars. Now, the composition was clearly a shout-out to the children of the 1990s, but it led my thoughts in a completely different direction.
Are the Disney stars getting thinner and thinner? I decided to research a little further into this hypothesis and the results are, to say the least, alarming.
The first row featured what they consider first generation (in this case my own), with stars like Raven Symone and Hilary Duff. I didn’t perfectly remember their body shapes and sizes, nor do I think I consciously noticed them at the time (ah, the innocent eyes of a child not yet warped by society), so I Google-Image searched them in their TV show heyday. Let me tell you, I was pleasantly surprised. These starlets were curvy, healthy girls, which is not to say that being thin is unhealthy. However, with the images kids are presented nowadays, featuring a girl who is still happy and beautiful without being a size 0 is refreshing. Hats off to you, early 2000s Disney!
Might I also point out that both these actresses left the teen spotlight in a completely elegant DUI-free manner? Healthy bodies lead to healthy minds, perhaps?
The next row is the second generation, the recently grown-up Disney darlings: Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato. We all know what they look like now, but just for argument’s sake, here’s a refresher of their Disney prime-time bodies. Granted, they certainly didn’t resemble their Disney predecessors, but their small physiques weren’t turning heads.
However, we know the pressure to be thin was omnipresent; take Demi Lovato, who combatted an eating disorder for several years. You might not think the disparity in size is so dramatic, and I concur that it isn’t greatly noticeable. But compare this next group of girls to the first and you will be singing a different tune.
The third generation, currently lighting up the preteen small screen, is composed of Bella Thorne, Zendaya and China Anne McClain. I don’t know much about them, and they DO seem a tad bit younger, so I can obviously forgive the lack of curves, but my lord some of them are thin.
I’m not trying to say that their weight is unhealthy. I don’t know their metabolism, genetics, natural build, what have you. But I will say that comparing Hilary Duff to China Anne McClain, two girls not so far apart in age at the time catering to the same adoring demographic, worries me.
Disney Channel original shows are targeted towards 9 to 14 year old girls. Within that age range, girls are no longer children; their bodies start changing and they become conscious of the societal pressure to be thin. However, they are not yet fully mature enough to separate the media’s images from reality, leading to unhealthy comparisons. “A 1996 study found that the amount of time an adolescent watches soaps, movies and music videos is associated with their degree of body dissatisfaction and desire to be thin.” The research doesn’t lie; these homogenous role models are dangerous.
This also would not be the first time the Disney Channel gets in trouble for their body negative outlook. Episodes from two different sitcoms, Shake It Up and So Random!, have been pulled off the air after the backlash they received, mainly by their former star Demi Lovato, because of an eating disorder joke. Indeed, on Shake It Up, one of the characters said: “I could just eat you up, well, if I ate.” Making light of a mental illness is something the Disney Channel should know better than to do!
When my friends and I flipped through our pre-teen magazines in elementary school, we thought Hilary Duff was the most beautiful person in the world. We wanted to dress like her, wear our hair like her, everything she did was FLAW-LESS. But when I imagine young girls thinking the same way about this new batch of actresses, it irks me a little.
The young actresses of today seem to dress more “grown up” then their predecessors, especially on the red carpet. On the shows, they wear more makeup, have romantic relationships earlier, and somehow always have perfectly styled hair. Fourteen-year-olds just don’t look and act 14 years old anymore. But for a young teen? If she wants to look and act her TV idols that is what she must look like. These two pictures show Hilary and Zendaya on the red carpet. Can you believe that at the time their picture was taken, they were both 16?
And let’s not forget the obvious growing sexualization of young women in the media. A study by Psych Central evaluated the sexualization of women on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, a publication that frequently displays teen idols such as Taylor Swift and Britney Spears. “In the 1960s, they found that 11 percent of men and 44 percent of women on the covers of Rolling Stone were sexualized. In the 2000s, 17 percent of men were sexualized (an increase of 55 percent from the 1960s), and 83 percent of women were sexualized (an increase of 89 percent).”
In addition, the American Psychological Association researched the sexualization of children in advertising. They “coded the ads over a 40-year period in five magazines targeted to men, women or a general adult readership. Although relatively few (1.5 percent) of the ads portrayed children in a sexualized manner, of those that did, 85 percent sexualized girls rather than boys. Furthermore, the percentage of sexualizing ads increased over time.”
These studies clearly demonstrate the emergence of both women’s and young girls’ sexualization, thus the proliferation of the idea of a woman’s perfect body. Clearly this problem goes beyond the realms of young TV actresses. It is a general societal issue we are facing in the 21st century.
You may not think that TV stars affect us or our vision of the human body and its aesthetic. And perhaps you’re right, it may not affect you. But children are still learning about the world that surrounds them, making them more vulnerable to the messages sent by the people they look up to. If the superstars they plaster on their walls look a certain way, do they have to look that way too? These are important questions that need to be addressed with individual children, but kid’s TV programs have a share of the responsibility as well.
There is still a lot of good left in the world, and progress is being made to rectify the situation. In France, for example, beauty pageants for young girls were recently banned. Certain groups in America recoiled at this “breach of freedom.” According to them, sending toddlers down a runway squeezed into tight dresses and high heels to be judged by a panel of strangers isn’t exploitative; it’s just another extracurricular activity.
But countries like France, and hopefully many others in the near future, are realizing that judging a child solely based on his or her looks just isn’t healthy. Hopefully, this step will stimulate conversations around the world about the environment in which children of the 21st century are developing, and what we can do to improve body positivity.
Until next time,